


On War and Love

by tteamwrites



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (its the early 1900s so its to be expected), Alcohol, Angst, Blood and Injury, Fluff, Homophobia, Lots of Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Smoking, War AU, lots of fluff too, tags to be added so keep an eye out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:35:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9443102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tteamwrites/pseuds/tteamwrites
Summary: "I  believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant." -MLK





	1. On War: Hesitation

The battlefield lay quiet, for it was now a graveyard of the unburied. Their corpses lay among the buttercups and forget-me-nots. The sun still shone and the wind still blew, but somewhere mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters waited in vain. These men that were once boys who played in the yard with sticks and laughed at each other's silly tales were now meat for the birds. Their eyes were as immobile as their limbs. Yuri carried a small clipboard close to his chest, kneeling down at each individual soldier, taking note of their rank or any physical characteristics to help identify the body. Sweat dripped from below his blue cap and into his face, he wiped it away on his sleeve only to have it replaced a moment later. He’s not alone in this task, several men survey the field and the trenches that dip into the rich soil. 

He heaves himself into one of the enemies’ trenches and pulls his small revolver, just in case he tells himself, even though his hand shakes as his fingers wrap around the cool metal. Several of the defensive sandbags lay on top of fallen soldiers. Their bodies were tightly packed together and the smell of metal hung heavy in the air. In this heat it wouldn’t be long before they started to decay. He climbed slowly over them, briefly looking over the body for any signs of life. His commander’s words echoed in his ears, “Take prisoners if they are alive, if they put up a fight, don’t hesitate to shoot.” He rounded the first corner of the trench that seemed desolate compared to the one he just came from. Only two bodies laid on opposite sides of the trench, blood caked into their light hair. Yuri wondered if they were brothers. 

A small opening which must had been a dugout entrance before it had collapsed catches Yuri’s eyes. He might as well be thorough with his search. He lifts the thick beam that fell diagonally across the doorway and crawls under it. The beam groans above him, causing a heavy amount of dust to fall into his eyes and mouth. His hands fly up under his glasses, trying to rid them of the dirt and dust. He screws his eyes shut and pushes forward until he’s sure he can stand. He coughs into his sleeve for a moment. Tears flow from his eyes, the dust must have agitated them and coughing as hard as he wasn’t helping. He wipes the spit from his lips on the back of his hand and retrieves the revolver from his belt. 

He lets his eyes adjust to the lack of sunlight before moving forward to the small desk in front of him. Some papers and maps lay strewn across the desk’s surface, they seemed like notes of some sort. Yuri couldn’t read Russian but maybe someone back at the camp could. He picked up a small bottle that had somehow stayed upright in the madness. The glass was a dull color and the label had been picked off, some dirt had settled at bottom. Just as he set the bottle down a small thud shook the desk. Yuri quickly took a few steps back and aimed his gun in front of him. Silence. Had it been his imagination? No. He heard something, and it came from under the desk. He gulped but slowly made his way around the desk. His footsteps seemed louder as he got closer. He pulled back the chair that had been crammed into the small space, but kept his gun steady. He squatted down to have a better look and was greeted with the nose of a gun staring back at him. 

He didn’t flinch, not even a bit. He just stared behind the gun, at its holder. “я, не колеблясь, чтобы стрелять!” the man snarled through gritted teeth. His hair was matted against his forehead with blood but his sharp eyes never left Yuri’s. Yuri looked down at where the man’s other hand was; clamped on his upper thigh. It looked as if he tried to make a bandage but it was soaked all the way through, and how his hand trembled he was in a lot of pain. He must have seen Yuri looking as his brows came together, “Вы понимаете?” Yuri didn’t speak any Russian but he took a few steps back and watched the man relax a little. He didn’t put the gun away. 

Yuri knew he could help him, that he needed help or he was going to die under that desk. He also knew he was meant to take in prisoners but he would only work as a slave if he was in condition to do so and with that leg, he would probably be disposed of. Yuri didn’t think anyone deserved that. He leant back against the room’s dirt walls and looked at the man who seemed to be a statue. In the shadows of the desk he could only see the reflection off his hair and eyes, he wondered what he looked like. Suddenly an idea struck him. A translator, they needed one desperately. He locked eyes again with the man and reached for his own revolver. The man flinched and tightened his grip on his gun. Yuri gulped and shook his head. He tossed his gun a few feet away and held up his hands like he was surrendering and slowly began to open his bag, he kept his eye on the man as he retrieved the papers. He held them up in front of them and tapped the words and then pointed at the man. “Anata wa nihongo o hanasemasu ka?” The man remained silent. “Do you speak English?” 

The man’s gun didn’t move. “Yes.” 

Yuri let out a sigh of relief. “I won’t hurt you so will you please put the gun down.” 

He hesitated for a moment but set the gun down beside him. “Are you going to take me prisoner now? I’m not going to be much help…” 

“Well, kind of. We need a translator and you speak Russian so…”

“And have one your little friends kill me once my service is no longer required? I’d rather die under this desk.” 

“That’s a bit dramatic...” Yuri mumbled to himself. “I’m the only one on base that speaks English fluently. So you’d be stuck with me.” 

“Is that a bad thing?” 

“Depends on the person, I guess.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “So will you come?”

“Will I get medical attention there?” 

“I’ll see to it personally.” 

The man extended his hand. “Victor Nikiforov.” 

I shouldn’t be making friends with the enemy, but if he’s useful I could use that trust to an advantage. He lightly took Victor’s hand. “Katsuki Yuri. I mean…Yuri Katsuki. I forget to switch it in English sometimes…” 

Victor let out a small laugh causing Yuri to look up. He heaved Victor to his feet. He was standing for a moment before his leg gave out so he dumped more than half his weight onto Yuri. “Sorry.” Yuri shook his head. Now he had to figure out how to get them both out of the room. He pulled Victor’s arm over his shoulder and half drug him to the exit. 

“We are going to have to crawl through that gap.” He heard Victor sigh but he nodded. “I’ll go first so I can grab your arms and pull you the rest of the way.” 

He eased Victor down to the ground before crawling through, keeping his face adjacent to the floor this time. The sunlight blinded him for a moment but he quickly turned around and stuck his hands through the gap. He felt Victor take them and he began to pull. Victor was essentially dead weight, he gripped his hands tightly as he pulled, his boots digging into the earth. He pulled and pulled. He heard Victor groan in pain, he bit his lip. “I’m sorry, I’m pulling as hard as I can.” He managed to pull him through after a while. He helped Victor back to his feet and let him lean on him again. Victor guarded his eyes from the sun with his hand for a moment. “Take it slow, we aren’t rushing.” 

Victor looked at Yuri and he could finally look at him properly. His eyes were a striking blue color and his burgundy stained hair just made them stand out more. His hair was probably a light color, seeing as how vibrant the red was in some places. High cheek bones, and a defined jaw. Universally attractive features but they seemed gentle. Not ones that had seen the brutalities of war. He found himself staring so he quickly darted his eyes away. He pretended not to hear Victor laugh a little. Yuri pointed back the way he came. “I came in through there, there’s a place where the trench fell in so we should be able to walk out somewhat easily.” Victor nodded. 

Getting Victor over the bodies was easier than anticipated. Yuri expected Victor to react to his fellow soldiers’’ corpses, but he remained neutral as he moved around them. He led Victor up the hill and across the field towards the camp. He constantly checked for any new emotions that may have crossed Victor’s face but the only thing was the acute pain from his leg. “Are you worried about me Yuri? I can see it in your eyes.” 

“I’m just focused on getting you to camp.”

Soon the large white tents appeared at the foot of the hill. To the left of them there was a large pile of bodies, most likely to be burned later that night. Yuri sighed thinking about how many of them were injured and needed immediate help. “Let’s get you down there.” When they reached the entrance of the camp he received weird looks, of course he would. Victor was very obviously not Japanese. “He’s of value, he told them. They had no room to argue as Yuri was above them in rank so they let the two in. Yuri guided Victor to the makeshift hospital and set him in an unoccupied chair. “I’ll be right back.” 

He quickly walked through the tent, about twenty-five patients were in his camp, as their platoon had split into several camps to cover more ground. He pushed through the tent entrance and made his way to the Colonel’s tent. He was sat at his desk looking down at a telegram, his half-moons spectacles pushed down onto the tip of his nose. He looked up as Yuri entered. “Ah, Officer Katsuki. Pleasure to see you.” He stood up straightly and bowed. Yuri mirrored his actions. “What can I do for you?” the man said, sitting back down. 

Yuri cleared his throat. “I retrieved some documents today while I was looking for survivors, sir. They are entirely in Russian…” 

“We do not have anyone that speaks Russian here, Officer.” 

“I am aware, sir. But I have taken in a Russian soldier today as a prisoner. He speaks English and has agreed to translate them if he receives medical attention. Sir, I am fluent in English as well as being your head doctor.” 

He squinted his eyes for a moment but then looked at the large stack of Russian paperwork that would’ve been needed to be sent to another camp. He sighed. “Alright. But he is entirely your responsibility. I don’t want him in the main medical tent either so keep him in yours.” 

“Yes sir. Thank you, sir.” 

“Any mishaps he makes is entirely on you.” 

“I understand. Thank you, sir.” He bowed once again and exited the tent. People bustled around him, the sun was setting so shifts would be too. Hopefully the nurses would last the night. He pushed through a small group of men smoking to reach the medical tent. Victor was slumped over in the chair and a heat of panic flew through Yuri’s body. He rushed over to his side and pushed his head back. His skin was scalding; his wound was infected like Yuri feared. He called over to one of the nurses bandaging a smaller man’s eye. “Help me get him on a stretcher. We have to move him.”  
The nurse quickly laid down a stretcher in front of the chair and helped Yuri lay Victor atop it. They lifted at the same time and, with Yuri leading, took Victor to Yuri’s tent. They set him besides Yuri’s cot. He requested some medical supplies and then sent the nurse on their way. He knelt down beside Victor and touched his forehead again. He brought a small bowl of soap and water to his side. “I’m going to have to undress you. Sorry for the intrusion…” Victor smiled, his eyes still closed.

“You Japanese are so polite.” 

Yuri felt himself blushing and was thankful Victor kept his eyes shut. Yuri took a deep breath and began unbuttoning Victor’s stained shirt. He guided his arms out of his sleeves as gently as he could, then his pants. “Sorry…I’m sorry, I’m intruding.” 

“Yuri you’re a doctor, you are doing your job.” Victor cooed. 

Yuri nodded even though Victor couldn’t see. The wound was a bullet one, and it seemed that the bullet hadn’t gone all the way through; he gulped. The skin wasn’t yellowing, but Victor was running a low fever, a good sign. “Victor I’m going to have to pull the bullet out.” Victor nodded. Yuri folded up a cloth and stuck it in Victor’s mouth, “I don’t want you to bite your tongue off.” 

He grasped his tongs and took a deep breath. “I’m going in.” As soon as the tips of the tong entered the wound, his entire body tensed up and he let out a low groan. Blood began pouring down his thigh as Yuri dug in deeper. Tears ran down Victor’s cheeks and his breathing began to get harder. “Relax.” Yuri felt like an idiot saying those words. Yuri felt the brush of the bullet against the tongs, “I found it we are almost there.” Yuri adjusted his grip and slowly pulled out the bullet. He quickly set the bullet down and began cleaning around the wound. “You’re going to need stitches.” Victor nodded again. He was silent as Yuri stitched him up and wrapped his thigh. He took the cloth out of his mouth. “All done.” 

Yuri wet a fresh cloth in the soap water and began washing his chest. He was cautious and gentle with his movements, apologizing every time he thought he pushed too hard. He eventually reached his head. He set the bowl behind his head and washed his hair which was actually a silver color. He brought the cloth to his face and washed the caked on dirt and blood of his forehead. Victor then grabbed Yuri’s hand and pressed the cloth harder on his forehead. “It feels nice.” Yuri quickly snatched his hand away with the cloth. “Why did you stop?” 

His face was as red as a sunrise, “This one is dirty let me get a new one.” He collected the bowl and dirtied tools and pushed back the tent flap. “I’ll be right back.” 

“Well, I’ll be here,” Victor laughed and gestured to his thigh. Yuri rolled his eyes a little. How could he be making jokes like this. He switched out the water and cloths and hurried back to his tent. Victor was laying exactly like he left him; Yuri mentally kicked himself for expecting a change. He resumed his position beside his head. He dipped the fresh cloth into the cool water and brought it again to his forehead. Victor hummed with contentment. “It feels nice when you do it.” 

Yuri’s heart fluttered. “Oh really…” he laughed lightly. Victor once again set his hand atop of Yuri’s. He flinched at the contact.

“Relax Yuri, I’m not going to hurt you.” Victor murmured. They stayed that way until Victor fell asleep and Yuri could retract his hand without Victor complaining. He covered Victor with a thin sheet and then took off his uniform. He washed his face and hair in the left over water and then threw it out. He crawled into his cot and turned away from Victor. He was a prisoner. A tactical advantage. An enemy. A Russian. He closed his eyes and tried to throw away any other thoughts.


	2. On War:Genesis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey just a quick preface that this fic might contain historical inaccuracies but i did pour a lot of time and effort into researching as best i could!! Forgive me for any mistakes!

Yuri awoke to the sound of rain rapping against the tent. He groggily sat up and retrieved his glasses. The sun wasn’t out yet, but his duties started early. He pulled on the deep blue uniform and straightened out his cot before grabbing his hat off the small desk behind him. 

“Turn around.” 

Yuri spun around to see Victor sat up in his cot and staring at him, his eyes still heavy with sleep. “Do that again.” 

Yuri sent him a puzzled look. “What? This…?” He slowly took off his hat and pushed his hair off his forehead. Victor smiled and nodded. 

“Yes. You look handsome like that.” 

Yuri’s face flushed and he quickly pulled the hat back on. He pushed past the tent and stood outside it for a moment, the rain fogging up his glasses. He shook his shoulders and rolled his eyes. He had bigger things to worry about. He made his way towards the medical tent where many of the patients were wide awake. He shook the rain off his coat and set it out to dry atop the chair Victor had occupied the night before. He checked on each of the twenty-five patients individually. Checking their vitals, if they had any new aches or pains, and changed out any bandaging they may had. He dismissed about half of them. One man’s splint had broken and was sticking into his arm a bit so Yuri made a quick incision and closed the wound again, despite the man’s request. “Good as new,” he said with a smile as he washed the blood off his hands. Yuri was known around camp to be the best doctor they had ever had, with his gentle and steady hands most people didn’t worry as much as they would have originally. He collected a few bandages for Victor’s leg before handing the rest of the patients off to the nurses. He promised to see them all later that night. 

The sun had rose and the rain let up as Yuri returned to the tent. Victor was sat up in bed playing with the hem of the blanket. Yuri had barely sat down when Victor opened his mouth. “Hungry.” Yuri sighed. 

“Yeah. Me too. But let’s look at your leg first.” 

Victor sighed, “Alright.” He revealed the leg and Yuri gently removed the bandage. The wound was still swollen and red but it looked much better than it did when he first saw it. He dabbed a small square of gauze soaked in alcohol around the wound before wrapping it up again.

“It’s looking much better. You’re a quick healer.” 

“I bet you say that too all your patients,” Victor said in a teasing tone, a smirk tugging at his lips. For a prisoner he sure seemed calm. Yuri smiled a little and found himself wondering why. He left Victor for a moment to retrieve their morning rations. He opened the tin cans for the both of them and sat down beside Victor. 

They ate in silence, occasionally meeting eyes but Yuri quickly darting his away. He watched Victor bring the food to his lips and then set it down again. “So Yuri…” Victor said locking eyes with Yuri who had just shoved a large piece of fish into his mouth, he swallowed harshly, causing him to cough. 

“Yes?” he croaked. 

“We should get to know each other, as we are going to be spending a lot of time together, as I can’t walk and I’m your prisoner.”

Yuri wrung his hands in hips lap and bit his lip, “Okay…what do you want to know?” Sharing a little of his personal life wouldn’t hurt right? He was only a doctor. Victor smiled and began to eat again.  
“How old are you? That’s easy. Isn’t it Yuri?” How he said his name made Yuri’s stomach turn. 

“I…uh…I’m twenty-three.”

Victor set down his empty tin and stretched his arms above his head. “I’m twenty-eight this year. Where are you from?” 

“Japan.” 

Victor laughed, “Obviously. Where exactly?” He leaned forward causing the thin white tunic he was wearing to slip off his shoulder, exposing his smooth skin. “Do I make you nervous?” He rested his hand beside Yuri’s knee, “Hmm?” 

Yuri flinched away, “Hasetsu. A small seaside town,” his words wavered as he spoke. 

“Really?” Victor causally moved his hand up and set it now on Yuri’s knee. He could feel the warmth of his hand through his pants; he sucked in a breath. “I’m from St. Petersburg.” He looked into Yuri’s eyes. “How come you speak English so well?” Yuri was scarlet at the point but couldn’t get himself to pull away from Victor’s grip or gaze. 

“I studied in America…medical.” Victor brought his other hand to Yuri’s chin. 

“I see…tell me anything about you. I would love to know anything.” Yuri suddenly became aware of how exposed he felt, he drew back quickly and stood. 

“I’ll be getting you assignments now.” He squeaked before turning in his heel and leaving. As he walked through the camp and pushed through the crowds of people, he felt as if every eye was burning into him, like they all had seen what Victor had done. What power the prisoner had over his captor. What a shameful thing indeed. His mind raced with the punishments he could be faced with, the rejection, the fear. He shuddered at the thought. When the colonel handed over the papers they felt heavy in his hands. His task was simple enough, just have him translate it and deliver it back. Would Victor actually do it? The question would have to remain unanswered until he returned to his tent for that night. Victor greeted Yuri with a smile when the papers hit his cot but Yuri didn’t show one in return. “I’m making my rounds; I’ll be back tonight with dinner.” 

“Until then Yuri…” 

“Yeah, until then.” He hastily shut the flap behind him. He made his checkups quicker than usual, even though he was trying to prolong them. He passed by the large pile of charred wood and ash on his way back to the tent, he didn’t want to think about the bodies piled there last night, but if his mind wasn’t occupied with those thoughts they were occupied with Victor. Yuri wanted to find out everything about him, but he felt like wanted to tell Victor too. It was easy talking to him, in the snippets of conversations they had he had never been pressured to answer anything he didn’t want to. He was thankful Victor wasn’t pushy. 

“The sunset gives off a beautiful glow,” Victor chimed as Yuri returned to the tent later that night.

“You comment on everything, don’t you?” 

“Yes, well because you comment on nothing.”

A smirk spread across Yuri’s lips and he shook off his coat and hat. “You sure have a mouth.” 

Victor looked up from the papers he was reading, “Would you like to make me silent?” 

“No, no,” Yuri laughed lightly, “It’d be much too hard to keep you quiet if I got ahold of you.” 

Victor’s eyebrows shot up, “Is that so?” 

Yuri nonchalantly sat down at his desk and looked down at Victor. “I’d probably have you begging.” 

Victor laughed a little, “I’d love to see that performance.” 

Yuri laughed a little at his new found confidence, well in this case, dominance. He was the one giving orders here, not Victor. He watched Victor read through the paperwork and take notes as he worked. He wondered how all that hair covering that eye didn’t get annoying. He remembered that as he washed Victor’s hair he had a vertical scar coming from the bottom lid of his eye to just above the eye socket. Maybe it was from a childhood accident. 

“Have you lived in St. Petersburg all your life?” 

Victor turned around at the sudden question, “Yes, I have actually.” He turned back to his work. “Have you always lived in Hasetsu?” 

Yuri nodded, “Yeah. I miss the sea.” 

“So do I.” 

They were silent for a moment, whether out of comfortable silence or were they both remembering days sitting on the sand, looking out on the ocean, wondering what was out there. Odd how they both ended up here, sharing a fairly pleasant conversation even though they were from insanely different parts of the world and on different sides of the battle. Yuri broke the silence, “Where’d you get that scar? The one under your eye…” 

Victor’s hand absentmindedly brought his hand to it, “Oh this one. I used to have long hair…well, I wasn’t brought up by my birth parents and Lilia, well she loved dancing and wanted to teach us…”  
Yuri cut him off, “Us?” 

“Oh. Yuri, he was also taken in by Lilia and Yakov. I was thirteen when he was brought. A tiny baby all swaddled in a bundle as they brought him in. It was late March and pouring down rain, I opened the door for them and the first thing I hear is him crying.” He smiled sadly. “Never happy that one. But Yakov smiles from ear to ear and says ‘Vitya, мы принесли вам братика’” he made his voice gruff and low, “We have brought you a little brother.” Yuri thought of the time his older sister told the story of the day he was born, a cold sunny November day and how she was forced out of the house so he could come easy, she laughed then but said the actual day she was as mad as her six-year-old self could manage. 

“Despite our age gap, we are really close. I love him with all my heart.” Victor started again. “Well even before Yuri was brought I loved playing with Lilia’s long hair so I grew mine out, and Yuri followed my example. We loved braiding our hair and we loved dancing even more. It won’t be long until Yuri surpasses me…but then the war broke out. And I had to go. Yuri wanted too, but I didn’t want him to burden war on himself, he’s only fifteen. He cut my hair the night before I left, he slipped with the scissor.” He reached over to the pants he had been wearing when Yuri had found him and reached into one of the pockets, withdrawing a small folded photograph. Yuri leaned in to get a better look. 

It was Yakov, Lilia, Yuri, Victor, and a dog. They were all smiling, Victor wider than anyone else. His hair was loose below his shoulders and held onto Yuri’s shoulder with one arm and another across Yakov’s, who was broad and stout. He was holding Lilia by with waist and Lilia held the dog, who seemed equally excited. Yuri seemed a little nervous about having his picture taken but his awkward smile made it seem more like a genuine moment. Victor looked so happy. Yuri wanted to see him smile like that again for a reason he couldn’t seem to grasp. “What about you Yuri, any scars with a story?” Victor said. He put the photo away. 

“I uh…fell of my roof once.” Yuri said sheepishly. 

Victor laughed a little too much, “You what?!”

“I fell off my roof. I was five and I really looked up to my older sister and she would climb onto the roof in the mornings to look at the sky. She’s always liked the clouds and weather, so I followed her one day. She was eleven and had a much better grip on how legs and balance worked so as she gracefully walked across, I slipped and fell off. I broke my arm. I will never forget how fast she came off that roof and was screaming murder until my mother came outside.” Yuri smiled down at his hands that we folded in his lap as Victor laughed. 

“I bet you were a cute kid.” 

“What makes you think that?” Yuri inquired. 

“Well you are cute now so it only makes sense.” Victor said smiling. Yuri felt the heat go to his cheek so he turned away making Victor laugh again. “Cute.” 

The two didn’t hold much more of a conversation that night, they ate their evening meal together, Yuri cleaned Victor’s leg, and made one more trip to his patients that night. He returned with soapy water for the both of them. Yuri washed first, facing away from Victor. He felt nervous as he stripped off his uniform. He cautiously washed his hair and face. He could feel Victor watching, even if he wasn’t, Yuri was blushing the entire time. He quickly toweled off and redressed before sliding the bowl over to Victor. 

“You’re not going to wash me today?” Victor teased taking off his tunic. “This is difficult sitting down.” 

“Well let’s hope you heal quickly,” Yuri remarked, scooping up Victors work and setting it on his desk. He didn’t look at Victor as he washed, he couldn’t, he wouldn’t. They laid with their backs to each other that night, the rain returned its sound filling the silence. 

“You are a very interesting person Yuri,” Victor said just above a whisper. 

Yuri’s breath hitched in his throat, “I could say the same about you.” The more time he spent with Victor, each time a question got answered he was hungry for more.  
“I want to know you, properly.” 

Yuri didn’t answer.  
-

Drowning. Victor was drowning. His arms and legs kicked in an effort to fight his way back to the surface, but he was being held down. Victor’s entire body is throbbing; his lungs feel as though they've been set on fire. His uniform, it was holding him down. All the medals and ribbons that decorated its black base were swirling and winking in the sunlight that lit up the water around him. He desperately tried to take the heavy things off, but he was growing weaker with every movement. He manages to break surface for a moment and takes a breath so large it hurts. The sky was a fiery color, was the sun setting? No, it wasn’t the sky Victor had seen but his ship. The large hull shattered with flames and great columns of smoke billowing from within. He’s dragged under again and he takes another breath only getting water in return. He closes his eyes and accepts what has happened. He didn’t care anymore. A useless war for a useless cause he thinks as he lets himself go. 

-

Yuri awoke to the sound of murmuring. It takes him a moment to realize that it was Victor, he rolls onto his side and watches Victor toss and turn in his cot, a thin layer of sweat covering his arms. This was the third time Victor has had a nightmare in the month he had been with Yuri. He quickly throws off his cover and rushes to his side. He gripped his shoulders lightly and shakes him. “Victor, wake up!” Victor’s eyes snap open, the electric blue full of fear and uncertainty. They dart around before locking with Yuri’s, well as best they could as Yuri’s dark hair fell in front of them. “You were having a nightmare.” 

Victor’s breathing slows and he reaches out and cups Yuri’s face. “Beautiful.” Yuri places his hand atop Victor’s, appreciating the feather light touches and the warmth of his palm.  
“I think you’re still dreaming.” 

Victor shakes his head and doesn’t retract his hand, “No. You are too good to be a figment of imagination.” Yuri smiles. He hasn’t done anything to Victor he wouldn’t do for another patient. They spent all of their time together, sharing meals and conversations every day, it’s hard not to get to know someone. There was a strange intimacy Yuri felt for Victor, whether it was the brush of hands exchanging papers or when they caught each other’s eyes from across the tent, Yuri felt this type of rush. A spark.

It was still dark out as the two sat there, their hands intertwined, Yuri began to wonder if it was okay to want Victor the way he did. He wanted to hold him and be held, to hear him laugh, to make him laugh, he wanted to kiss him, he wanted to be with him every moment. Not only did doubt race through him as they were both men, but men on opposites sides of the battlefield, men that knew nothing about each other except where they came from and how they met. Yuri was okay if he never truly knew Victor, the illusion of him would suffice as long as they could stay like this, with just the feint morning stars and the sound of each other’s heartbeats. 

-

Victor begins to walk after a month and half of sitting, and Yuri swears he’s like a freshly born deer, all wobbly and unsure. Yuri grips both his hands and guides him around the tent, one step at a time. “C’mon Victor, you can take another few steps.” Victor takes a deep breath before continuing forwards, his hands gripping Yuri’s so tightly his knuckles turn white. “That’s quite a grip.”  
“Shut up.” Yuri laughs in return. They take a few more steps before Victor stumbles forward, colliding head on with Yuri’s chest causing them both to lose balance and slam against the desk. The assorted bottles and pens Yuri had hoarded atop its surface clatter and roll to the ground in response to the sudden impact. Yuri manages to keep Victor standing even if he’s sat atop the desk, Victor stood between his legs. 

“That was close.” Victor nods a little before laughing at the mess they had made. Yuri joins in too, wrapping his arms around Victor’s shoulders and sliding off the desk. They stood chest to chest laughing before they fell silent as Yuri took notice in the small gap between them and his desire to close it. He felt his heart race and face turn hot, he quickly turned away. He could of swore he heard Victor sigh but didn’t want to think about it.

-

“What do you dream about Yuri?” Victor asked, blowing out a stream of smoke. He had begged Yuri for cigarettes for weeks before he finally gave in. To shut you up he said, not because he gave into Victor’s big baby blues, of course not. 

“Uh, nothing out of the ordinary.” Yuri replied. He shuffled his papers together and clipped them together. “Why?” 

Victor flicked the ashes away from his cigarette, “Just curious.” He took a deep drag, “seeing as you are quite a mystery.” 

Yuri shook his head, “Would you like to solve me?”

“With pleasure.” 

-

The summer heat was sweltering as August rolled around. The heat turned the troops angry and impatient as there was no relief from the blazing sun, even at night the air was wet and hot inside the tents. Yuri and Victor often spent the nights with their chests bare and damp cloths pressed to their foreheads in hopes of somehow managing.  
“I really miss the sea,” Victor breathed, lighting a cigarette, the reddish glow illuminating his gentle features. He sat up and took a few puffs before leaning over and handing the cigarette to Yuri.  
“Yeah,” he took a long drag, “Me too.” He handed the cigarette back. 

“I’d give anything to get out of this heat.” He fumbled with the cigarette between his lips and leaned back on his elbows, his tunic carelessly slipping off his shoulder, exposing his dewy skin. He took the cigarette from his mouth, licked his lips, and then placed it back to its resting place. He smirked, “What did you just think of Yuri?” 

Yuri quickly jumped up from his place and darted to the small trunk filled with his belongings. He flung the lid open and tore through its contents. It had to be here somewhere. “What’re you looking for?” Victor called from behind him. Yuri didn’t answer but quickly snatched what he was looking for and turned around. In his hands he held to smooth porcelain bottles. He shook them slightly and smiled, “Sake. My dad would drink it on nights like these.” Victor grinned and patted the space next to him. Yuri joined him and poured them each a small glass. Victor clinked their glasses together before downing it with a flick of his wrist. Yuri was quick to mirror his actions. 

The alcohol hummed in his veins and the drags of the cigarette made his head hazy. Drink after drink the tent didn’t feel so hot anymore, if anything, his uniform felt more constricting. He soon disposed of his shirt and tight pants, only keeping his socks and underwear on. Victor didn’t seem to mind, he just laughed at the clumsily attempts to get them off. 

“You look so so so cute Yuri~” Victor hummed, taking another drink and pulling Yuri down to sit by him again, “Stumbling around,” he hiccupped between his words, “Hair all messy.” 

Yuri pushed back his hair and laughed. “R-really?” The world felt slightly tilted, he didn’t know if he was wearing his glasses or not, he didn’t really care. He could see Victor just fine. 

Victor giggled and placed the cigarette back in Yuri’s mouth as he removed his tunic as well. “Look! Yuri now we match!” He flung an arm around Yuri’s shoulder and pulled him down so he was laying atop his chest. Yuri flicked the cigarette away and cradled Victor’s face. 

“Why can’t we just stop this war, I’d rather….” He hiccupped again, “I’d rather look in your eyes all day.” 

Victor laughed. “Yuri you are so cute. No.” He was stern with his last word. He brushed a thumb against Yuri’s flushed cheek, “Beautiful.” 

Yuri laughed again and hid his face in the crook of Victor’s neck, “You’re embarrassing!” 

“Am I? I’m sorry.” 

Yuri bolted up right, and stared down at Victor. His lips slightly parted and his cheeks flushed. He brushed his silver hair out of his face, “Victor you’re the beautiful one. Like the forbidden apple of Eden, I shouldn’t have you here…” 

“Aren’t I the Christian one...” Yuri cut him off. Not with words but with a kiss. It was clumsy as he desperately tried to get it perfect, making Victor smile beneath him, but it didn’t take long for them to get comfortable with each other’s movements. Victor wrapped his hand behind Yuri’s neck and brought him closer and kissed along his jaw and neck. He sat up and pulled Yuri into his lap. Yuri tangled his fingers in Victor’s hair as he brought their lips together again. 

“Eager?” Victor murmured again Yuri’s collar.

“Shut up.” Yuri yanked Victor’s head back and kissed down his neck and chest, leaving a large red mark below his jaw. Victor pulled Yuri’s face back to his. Yuri clenched his teeth, fighting back a groan but his stillness must have betrayed him he felt Victor smile against his skin. He bit Yuri’s lip, he chuckled at the gasp it earned him. Heat blossomed from where Victor’s hands lied, causing Yuri to arch his back towards him. A sudden click broke the moment around them, he was kissing Victor, he was holding him, he had left a mark on him. He pushed away and sat back on his knees. “Yuri?” His mind was still humming from the sake. He looked up at Victor.

“What are you running from?” 

“What are we all running from?” 

My feelings. This war. Battles I’m both losing. Tears filled Yuri’s eyes, “I want to run.” 

Victor kissed his lips again softly. “Run with me then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE PLOT, SHE THICC


	3. On War: Yugen

Yuri leaned over a man’s broken leg. The man held a cigarette between his quivering lips as sweat dripped down his broad forehead. A large crate had fallen from one of the truck backs and landed on his leg. The camp had received orders to relocate inland as Victor’s translations had provided some of the set ups of Russian defenses, even if they were a little dated, they were better than nothing. He propped the man’s leg up on a pillow and arranged a spilt. “Keep it up like this and call for a nurse if anything new develops,” he told the grumbling man with a soft smile. 

He retreated out of the medical tent and made his way back toward his own. The camp had already reduced considerably in the short time they had received the order. Only about ten of the thirty tents remained, they were replaced by the loud rumbling of the large trucks and the sounds of the engines of the cars. They would be transferring the patients the next morning so Yuri had made sure to have all of their medical information intact. The colonel had taken the documents Victor hadn’t gotten around to translating, for safe keeping he said. 

Yuri was used to have his abilities doubted but since Victor arrived with him that day he felt like all eyes were on him at once. Who could blame them? He was keeping an enemy safe and fed. Victor hadn’t been outside their small tent since he arrived and Yuri could tell he was getting stir crazy. The way he would fold and unfold the sheets to their cots, or rearrange Yuri’s pens twice a day; Yuri wanted to get him out in the fresh air but it wasn’t a good idea having a prisoner stroll around the camp, especially considering that Yuri had to help him walk. Run with me then. The words echoed in his head since that night. He couldn’t leave the war at a drop of a hat. It wasn’t that easy. It never is.

When Yuri pulled back the tent flap he found Victor drawing on a piece of paper, well he thought he was drawing when he was in fact writing in Russian cursive. How anyone was able to decipher that he would never understand. Victor looked up at him and smiled then patted the space next to him excitedly. Yuri tossed off his hat and took a seat. Victor grabbed Yuri by the collar and brought their lips together but as Yuri wrapped his hand around his neck he pulled away. “I have a plan.” Victor said just above a whisper. 

Yuri, still hazy from barely could form the words on his lips. “A plan?” 

Victor nodded and pointed to the paper he had been writing on. “When we leave in two days you are going to be driving me, correct?” 

“Mmhm.” 

“Well what if you drove off…” 

“Victor you’re going to get us both killed…” Victor silenced him with a kiss again and then put his finger to his flushed lips.

“I’m going to point a gun to your head. And technically you’re a hostage now. You’re going to drive off under my orders.” 

Yuri pulled back a little, “That’s insane! Do you honestly think they won’t try to shoot you?!” 

Victor bit his lip, he hadn’t thought about it all the way through. “Well if they miss, you’re going to bring me back to a Russian camp. I’ll resume my post until I can get us train tickets out of this war.”  
The plan was almost too easy but that made it easy to crack. There was the chance of Victor dying before it even began and what guaranteed himself living when they got to the Russian camp? There were too many deadly variables. Victor must have noticed how worried Yuri was as he lifted his glasses and kissed between his brows. “It’ll work.” He wanted to believe him. Staying here wasn’t going to last forever, as soon as documents ran out or Victor’s leg healed and he could be put to work he was out of Yuri’s care. They were running out of time and options. Yuri looked up and sighed. 

“This is crazy.” 

Victor grinned from ear to ear, “So you’ll do it.” 

Yuri bit his lip. Their lives were at stake. Nothing was guaranteed as soon as Victor will raise that gun. He thought of his parents and sister. Would he ever see them again? Or would he become another name on the missing in action list? He thought of his mother’s face reading over those words and how she would crumble in his father’s arms, sobs wracking her body. He wondered if he would ever see Mari married, would he be able to hold a niece or nephew one day? Most of all he wanted them safe and happy in their tiny home by the sea. 

Yuri hid his face in Victor’s chest and took a few deep breaths. “If we die, I’m ignoring you in the afterlife.” 

Victor’s arms wrapped around him. “Don’t say such things, my Yuri.” 

-

The plan was simple: drive safely and orderly until Victor held the gun to his forehead. That’s when things would get precarious. Yuri glances over to Victor still sound asleep, his hair falling messily across his face. Yuri brushed it aside. The sun hadn’t quite come up but his doubts were not going to wait to wake with the rooster’s crow. Yuri played the multitude of ways they could lose their lives today: Victor could get shot, in the commotion they might shoot Yuri, the Russians could kill them both. As the pink of dawn streamed into the tent Yuri was already dressed and his gun was loaded. He secured it on his belt and closed his trunk which contained a few medical supplies, two days’ worth of rations, and a note from his mother she had sent a few days after he had left, somehow he had never gotten around to replying. He roused Victor from his slumber and took his damaged uniform into his bag. Victor stood weakly but smiled, like somehow this could all work.

Two officers helped escort Victor to the truck, their medals clinking as they walked against the hard packed dirt. They weren’t exactly gentle as they gripped his legs and shoved him into the seat. The taller of the two taunted him in Japanese, as if he was trying to crack Victor’s hard expression. The same one he wore when Yuri brought him here. 

“He doesn’t speak Japanese and I would be a little nicer to him considering he’s the reason you’re a day closer to getting home.” The officer looked like he was going to say something back but decided against it. Yuri tossed his hat into Victor’s lap but didn’t look at him, it would be too risky. They had a role to play. As the three trucks began to move forward Yuri flicked his eyes to Victor and then to the pistol on his belt. Victor nodded once and turned to look at the passing scenery. 

An hour passed and nothing. Not a word from Victor as the traversed the fresh path made by the earlier trucks. Yuri adjusted his glasses and stole a glance at Victor who still stared nonchalantly away from everything. When was the plan going to happen? Had he abandoned the idea all together? He stared into the orange earth being kicked air borne by the heavy tires of the truck in front of them. Yuri tried to see if the clouds of dirt formed anything interesting but nothing of interest came to be. Two large birds soared overhead through the azure cloudless sky and swooped down ahead of them as if to catch an unsuspecting field mouse; as he admired the birds’ agility Yuri felt Victor’s hand brush against his waist, his slim fingers tightening around the glistening metal of his pistol.  
Yuri braced himself for the feeling of the nose of it to be pressed into his forehead but it didn’t; the light bounced off its metallic body as Victor raised it to eye level, as the first shot rang out and the back of the officer who had taunted Victor bloomed scarlet, it was too late. Another shot and the driver fell limp. Yuri quickly swerved to avoid the catastrophe of collision. He looked up at Victor and jumped back. He looked nothing of the man he saw this morning or kissed the night before. The sleepy smile and smiling eyes were replaced with something hard and ruthless. This was the face of a man who has killed before, the same face he wore when he found him dying under a desk. 

The remaining two turned around to retaliate but Victor was quicker and cleaner. As the officer’s bullets were strewn off course due to the bumpiness of the road, Victor’s hands were steady. Yuri watched the two bodies gush red from their heads and fall down upon themselves.

Yuri slammed on the breaks, making Victor nearly smack into the windshield but he caught himself. Yuri whipped around and snatched the gun from Victor’s hand and threw it with all his might away from them. He gripped Victor’s collar and shook him. “What the fuck was that?! That wasn’t the plan! You killed four officers on my watch! Victor, how could you-”  
Victor narrowed his eyes, “Did you honestly think that we could have gotten away leaving them alive? How naïve are you?” 

Yuri shook him again, “This isn’t a game! Those were lives! Actual lives! People with memories and families!” Hot tears streamed from his eyes as he grit his teeth together. Victor griped one of Yuri’s wrists and pulled it away from his collar and brought his palm flat against his chest. 

“Do you feel that? That’s a life!” He pressed his own hand to Yuri’s chest which rose and fell heavily, “That makes two. If you knew I was wrong…why didn’t you stop me?”  
Because I knew they would kill you, Yuri thought. He didn’t have to speak for Victor to get his answer. 

“In order to win a battle one must be selfish and play dirty. In order to win a war one must abandon any notion of his morals.” 

“But we are running away from one!” Yuri sobbed.

Victor pointed at the dead soldiers’ bodies, “They didn’t know that and neither will the Russians. In order for us to get out of this Yuri you have to embrace the mind of a cheater and a liar. Can you do that?” Yuri loosened his grip on Victor’s shirt and buried his face into his hands. Victor wrapped his arms around him and pulled him to his chest. 

-

They drove until nightfall and settled among a small grove of trees. Victor set out a blanket for them to lie on and made a small fire despite the heat. Yuri sat looking at the fire, as it made everything’s shadows look elongated and dismembered. He tried to erase the sight of the men falling over dead and the way Victor looked as he killed him. He would be a liar if he said he didn’t understand why Victor did it. This was a simple game of us or them. Yuri would have never forgiven himself if Victor would have been the one lying dead on the hard dirt. He didn’t cry because he knew the men but because he knew that they were alive. 

Victor lied down beside Yuri and sighed. “I’m sorry Yuri.” 

Yuri looked down at him but didn’t say anything.

“I was careless with your trust and I am truly sorry. I never meant to hurt you in this way…Yuri I love you. In these short months I’ve known you I never have felt this for someone. I love you so much that I can’t even see straight sometimes. I’m so afraid that something might happen to you like today, that could have gone the other way around.” 

Yuri wrung his hands in his lap. “I understand what you’re saying, but you have to understand what I saw, Victor.” His heart pounded against his chest, he looked at Victor’s eyes which reflected the orange light from the fire and he saw himself as Victor was seeing him. Bent over and unsure. Victor suddenly sat up abruptly and took Yuri’s hands in his. 

“Yuri I love you.” He said it with such a look of determination that Yuri felt his heart speed up like the day Victor first touched his hand. Funny to think this was the same man he saw nearly dead propped in a chair, here he looked more than alive. Yuri closed his eyes and brought their foreheads together. He smiled a little, and kissed him softly. 

They slept close together, Victor’s face buried in Yuri’s chest as his hair was smothered in soft kisses. Throughout the night Victor would shift sporadically waking Yuri in the ruckus. Hot tears dampened Yuri’s shirt. Another night. Another nightmare. Yuri held him closer as he cried and tried to sooth him with any words he could find. Yuri knew people came back different from a war, colder, harder. Yuri didn’t want that to happen to Victor, he wanted to see the boyish grin and hear his lighthearted laugh for as long as he could. How long did they have together? I want to stay like this, for as long as he will let me.

-

Yuri awoke early, when the dew was still heavy on the grass and birds hadn’t quite taken flight yet. This sky was dusty pink and orange and a mist had settled over the rolling stretch of land around them. Victor was still very much asleep and curled against Yuri’s side. He managed to get his arm from under the sleeping man and sit up. He rubbed his eyes before putting on his glasses and was instantly greeted by the sight of a large deer staring back at him. 

It stood their motionless amongst the tall grass and wildflowers, it’s black eyes staring deep into Yuri’s. It took a few steps forward in a graceful fashion, nothing seemed to stir as it moved. Slowly, without taking his eyes off the creature Yuri shook Victor gently. “Victor, you’re going to want to see this,” he whispered. Victor hummed in annoyance and squinted up at Yuri. He sat up groggily.  
“Wha-,” Yuri slapped his hand over his mouth and turned his head towards the deer. Victor’s eyes widened at the sight and Yuri felt his muscles relax. He pulled his hand away. The deer began to walk again, startling a few doves from their hiding places, they took to the sky in a flurry of coos and the harsh flapping sounds of their wings. The deer walked as graceful and precise as a dancer and as silent as a hunter. The two men stared in awe as this peaceful animal made its way through the field and then disappearing into the brush. 

-

Victor explained as they drove that Yuri could not be seen at the camp. Well, it wasn’t a camp after all. The Russians had taken a town and were using some of the abandoned buildings for their own. According to Victor he should still be in charge, he was most likely still listed as missing. He explained that when they got near the town Yuri would hide in the backseat under their bags and supplies. Victor would get them to wherever his quarters would be and sneak him in. Yuri made him promise that this was the real plan, that he was telling the whole truth. Victor held up his left hand and placed his right on his chest and swore he was. Yuri believed him. 

Victor wanted to get used to driving the heavy truck so it looked more natural and nonchalant when they got there. This gave Yuri an excuse to relax and enjoy the Manchurian country side. He admired the short trees and rolling hills of this place, how even though summer was coming to a close he could still see the specks of wildflowers among the plain. He wished he could see the ocean from here, smell the salt in the air and the sound of the ever flowing waves pounding against the shore. Yuri wished more than anything that he could see it again with Victor. He also busied himself mending Victor’s uniform. The pants were easy, but the jacket had been snagged in so many places it was hard to him to find a beginning. He traced his finger over the gleaming medals and colorful ribbons. “What did you get this one for?” he tapped a large gold one. 

“Oh that one…for surviving a shipwreck.” Victor looked like he had seen the sequence of events that brought him to have that medal. Like he saw a ghost.

Yuri wanted to ask, but didn’t. “Oh I see.” 

There was a natural break in conversation that was filled by the rumble of the truck. “How long do you think we’ll have to stay there?” Yuri asked. He folded the coat carefully in his lap.  
Victor scratched his chin. In the few days they had been away from the camp he had grown some stubble. It reminded Yuri that Victor was almost twenty-eight, himself almost twenty-four. He wondered what the date was. “I’m guessing three months at the most. It depends on how quickly we get what we need from Lilia…” 

Yuri shot him a puzzled look, “What do we need from her?” 

“It would look a bit odd if one day I pulled a man from my room and took off on a train.”

“I thought the plan is to sneak away…” Yuri brought his eyebrows together, confused. 

“It still is! But just in case someone sees us it is much easier to explain an officer escorting a lovely lady.” Victor smirked, waiting to see the realization bloom across Yuri’s face. 

“Wait…you mean I have to dress as a woman?!” Yuri felt his face go hot. “A western woman at that?!” 

Victor laughed. “I wanted to be the woman originally, I know my fair amount about hair and proper etiquette from Lilia, but I’m taller than you, and in heels I’ll be taller…”

“Heels?!” 

Victor tapped his chin again, he seemed to be talking more to himself than Yuri, “Would we need stockings and garters? I mean no one would be seeing them…but maybe just in case…” 

Yuri flailed his arms about, “There’s no way I could pass for a woman!” 

“I’m not so sure about that…Lilia is very good at dressing.” 

“She’s never seen me, Victor.” 

“I know, but I have!” Yuri pinched the bridge of his nose. He had already lost this battle before it began. He sighed. 

“You’re going to have to teach me how to act like a lady then.” 

Victor grinned from ear to ear, “Of course my Yuri.”  
-

Laying under the seats of the truck wasn’t as uncomfortable as Yuri had imagined, it was the belongings that made it hell. They bounced against his stomach and the bags’ clasps would collide against his face. The rumble of the truck was even louder here so it made everything vibrate uncontrollably. Yuri prayed that it would be over soon. 

He felt the truck come to a stop and Victor’s voice. He was speaking Russian, another voice that was high pitched answered. Someone young, almost too young to be in the war. He heard Victor laugh and the truck once again pulled forward. They were travelling much slower as Yuri could tell, they must be going through the town’s main street. It wasn’t made of stone, must be over dirt as the truck didn’t traverse any different than it had on their way here. The truck stopped again and then shut off. Victor didn’t slam the door shut like he promised he would when it was safe to come out. Yuri held his breath, without the sound of the truck he had to be extra cautious with his sounds. 

He heard Victor began speaking again, this time a low voice answered. A general? Yuri heard Victor laugh again and then the sound of a palm coming in contact with a back. Things were going well. He hoped. The door opened and the truck started again. They didn’t travel as far but they made a sharp turn making Yuri stick his legs straight out, trying to gain some grip against the wall of the truck. When the truck was silenced again the door slammed. Yuri rapidly tossed the bags off him, taking in a deep breath of air as he emerged from his hiding place. Victor was unlocking a white wooden door of a tall brick building. It seemed like it was a café or a bakery, judging by the large glass display window. He wondered if some foreigners had owned it. He had never seen building quite like this in Hasetsu. 

Victor whipped around and extended his arms, “We made it!” Yuri bounded out of the car and pushed straight past Victor and hid in the stairwell of the house. “In a hurry?” Victor laughed.  
Yuri shook his head, “I am in enemy territory.” 

Victor retrieved their bags from the truck, “Now you know how I felt.” 

The room Victor had been given was bigger than Yuri had ever seen. It looked just like he would imagine a western room would look. A large brass bed with enormous white sheets and pillows, a large window draped in sheer curtains, intricate carpet designs, two wardrobes, a desk and too top it off, an ensuite bathroom, complete with tiled floors. Yuri couldn’t help but run his hand over the shiny brass and satin sheets. “Are you sure you’re just an officer? Not some millionaire in disguise?” Yuri asked after he threw himself onto the bed. 

Victor laughed. He stripped of his gloves nonchalantly, then his coat, then let all of it drop to the floor behind him. He tossed the fur hat he presumed the second man gave him at Yuri. He clumsily caught in his hands before Victor had jumped on the bed beside him. The mattress dipped with his weight making Yuri roll beside him. “Hello…” Victor whisper before taking Yuri’s face in his hand and kissing along his jaw. Yuri sighed against his touch. Victor ran another hand against his thigh. “Shall I draw a warm bath?” 

They bathed together in the marble tub, the smell of soap and roses from the perfume Victor had added to the water greeted them every time they moved. They washed each other’s hair and scooped up the bubbles that’s gathered together on the water’s surface and blew them into the air at each other, laughing like children. Yuri sat between Victor’s legs, their hands intertwined. Yuri sighed in content, he couldn’t wait to do this every day with him. Just the two of them in some far off country where they good bathe and eat in complete an utter happiness. He looked down at Victor’s leg, his once wound was now a baby pink. He was more than relieved to see it healing well as well as Victor walking somewhat normally. The limp wasn’t noticeable to an unobserving eye. 

For the remainder of the evening they lazed in bed with muffins Victor had brought by a servant who ran errands for higher ranking men. Yuri laid with his head in Victor’s lap and he combed his fingers through his hair. Victor was reading some paperwork that the boy had brought along with the muffins. 

“Should I grow it out?” Yuri said, a piece of the pastry tumbling onto the lovely sheets. He quickly brushed it down. “My hair?” 

Victor looked down at him and smiled softly, “Where did that come from?” 

“Well as I am dressing a woman soon it might be a good idea to add some length too it…”

Victor’s eyes lit up, in the light of the setting sun being filtered a peach color through the curtains made his eyes seem lighter. “I think that is a wonderful idea Yuri.” He smiled and kissed him. “I also think you should write your mother… tell her that you’re safe and ignore any details coming from the army. I’m sure your family misses you.” Yuri remembered the letter still tucked in his coat pocket which was hidden away in the wardrobe. 

“I think that is a good idea.” 

Victor set out a stack of parchment and a lovely fountain pen for Yuri at the desk. He gestured to it. “It’s all yours.” Yuri hesitantly sat down against the padded chair and took the pen in hand. He took a deep breath and wrote. 

_Mother,_ _I am safe. Do not believe what the army says about me. I am alive and well. I have fled the war to pursue a life of happiness, something you have always told me to have. I have fallen in love with the most beautiful person, I am with them and we are safe. I do not want you to worry. I will have plans arranged for us to come visit after the war. I promise. How is Father? And Mari? Does the sea still look the same as the day I left? How are Takeshi and Yuuko? How are their babies doing? I am in a splendid place, with a large fluffy bed and marble tubs, can you believe it? I can’t even though as I sit here writing I can see my love writing their own letter atop the bed. I’m wishing all of you the best._  
Lovingly,  
Yuri

When Yuri turned, Victor was sitting up in bed. He had a cigarette in one hand and a pen in another. A notebook open on his lap. Yuri quickly discarded his clothing, pulled on a silk robe that had been left in the bathroom, it was a pale yellow color and Yuri adored it. He crawled into bed next him and peppered his jaw in kisses. “You look like an author,” Yuri teased. He took the cigarette from his hand and brought it to his own lips, taking in a deep breath. Victor chuckled, “Do I?”

Yuri nodded in agreement and kissed Victor, deeper this time, with more passion. “Will you read me what you wrote?”

“Oh, I just said that I was safe and asked how everyone was doing back home.” 

“Sounds like mine,” Yuri smiled, “Did you say anything about me?” 

“Ah yes. For Lilia. We still have to measure you when I get back for you dress and all the rest but I gave a description of how you spoke, what color your hair and eyes were, how you moved and acted. I want her to feel like she has seen you.” They kissed for a time before Victor revealed a bottle of whisky. Then they drank, smoked and kissed more. 

Whiskey did what whiskey does, and before long, Victor was admiring the robe with his eyes, then his hands, then he was moving it out of the way of places he wanted to admire with his mouth. Yuri was admiring him as well. 

They went about it slowly, a little awkward at first, Yuri giggling, Victor shushing him and then laughing, too. Bare skin against bare skin. When Victor buried his face in the crook of Yuri’s neck and moved against him, all thought frittered away, except for the thought that he could stay like this forever. And while the first time lasted only a few intense minutes, it was clear to Yuri that he and Victor had something exceptional, something irresistible to them both. For good or bad, those feelings defined everything Yuri was willing to become.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yugen: Japanese. An Awareness of the universe that triggers an emotional response too deep and powerful for words.
> 
> teamtobio.tumblr.com


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